Experts are people who claim they know more about certain things, or thats what they think. Wah KAuZZ!!!
So this blog is dedicated to my best friend.
But as you know, the internet is full of lurkers, especially those into sadistic sexual manourvres, paedophilles and those into professional stalking, therefore to protect my friend, I shall name him JJ here.
Can't imagine my best friend JJ being sodomised by a zealous sexual online bigot, after reading my posting here. Wah KAuZZ!!! I pity the person who is going to sodomise JJ. The Bigot Sure to cry in regret after the act.
Okay. Back to the Tea Expert conspiracy.
You see. JJ has been my best friend for close to .... lets count (and learn Malay too Yah!!)
Satu, Dua, Tiga, Empat, Lima, Enam, Tujuh, Lapan, Sembilan, Sepuluh Dan Sebelas....
A whopping 11 years!!!
Many great Memories hor. Not those kind of say bye bye kinda friend.
But those that you carry into your grave with brotherly memories.
Back then, JJ and I attended a Junior College together. Circumstantially, our friendship grew because we stayed in the same area and traveled on the same SBS number 5 bus to JC.
Our friendship was certainly an alloy bond. But hor one thing really irks me.
And that he is always so boastful. Notice the tense used here. Cos he still is boastful till this day. Really tak boleh tahan him.
Everything we came across, he sure got some uninvited expert advice to add on to that thing.
Machiam like the rest of us study in school and learn only how to score zeros on our report cards.
Now, this yaya papaya of expert friend of mine really malu one big day.
There was this day, when JJ came to my house, and as usual, the moment he stepped into my house,
he will started to give his extra, really extra expert comment on this and that. That sometimes, you really feel like bitching at him and asking him to Shut the FaRK up!!!! Wah Kauz!!!!
"Bro, you know your encyclopedia, this one. I finished reading it last time liao. You got any question, just ask me. You no need to read. I know all the answer liao."
"Yes Bro, you are smart" I replied in a nonchalent manner.
He then looked around sheepishly.
"Hey, Can I use your toilet?"
"Ten Cents per entry", I said in irritation. "And another 2o cents if you want tissue paper, its market rate."
He looked disbelievingly at me. Then I said, "For you, special discount. Packaged Deal total 10 cts. GO Lah Go lah. Joking only"
Now, in the kitchen of my house, on the table, laid a box container with a BIg Big BIG label, with the Chinese Word there, "TEA".
Catch here is that container belonged to my mother, and she always likes to reuse containers for other purposes .
JJ, without fail, grabbed the given chance to don his expert hat again.
"You know, I am quite good at assessing the quality of tea. I do have some indepth study into the savouring of tea, one taste and i can tell you the quality. Why dun you help me brew one cup, while i go to the toilet"
I took one look into the container, knew what was inside then and scouped up one teaspoon into a cup and poured hot water into it. No sugar nor milk added.
JJ came out, And I mischievously offered the drink to him.
With dignified and expertly aura, he took one sip. And rhythms his head in typical chinese way for showing appreciation of good tea.
"This is good tea, really I have never drank anything so nice before. The aroma, the texture, all point towards the best of tea leaves. So, what is the name of this tea?"
For lack of an actual name for that beverage, my brain raced to give me an acceptable reply to him.
"Its err,........errr.............Wu Long......err...... Tey Guan Ying.......... err....oh,
its Called Wu Long Tey Guan Ying , and errr...oh yes....... my mother was the one who bought it"
"Thats strange, I have heard of Wu Long Tea before, and Tey Guan Ying tea before. But this is the first time, I have savoured such a Tea by the name of Wu Long Tey Guan Ying."
At this fateful juncture, my mother came into the kitchen, about to prepare dinner for the family.
"Auntie, this tea from that box container is really superior tea. You really know where to buy such good tea. Must learn from you leh. Where you go to buy such good tea?"
My mother took a bewildered look at him, " Re wu siao bo? That container is used to put MILO." (Are you nuts? that container is used to put MILO)
Can you imagine the Expert's embarrassed REd face? WAh Kauzzz!!!!
haha. Mission Accomplished.
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